426 words (after cutting down from 500)

Morning, had tute with Roger.
Trap./Simpson's Rule, Function Values/Sub-intervals ==
But yeah otherwise cool =)
Got heaps of hw... T_T

Then left to go to city for a tiny bit to return some books to Usyd and pick up tickets from CO.

Was raining heaps at the city.
Kinda glad I wore the boots.
Fked if I had worn jeans.

Heel kept getting stuck in the cobblestone ><;;
But was nice, walking like a loner in the rain under an umbrella.
Deserted uni and all...
Dropped the books in the after hours returns slot, then went back to city.
The bus back was fully crowded so I rushed to get on first.
After me everyone got rejected.
Kinda not fair cos I got there later than them but tough =\
There were some asian (indo?) see lai's and their kids jamming up the bus cos they wouldn't move down.
-annoyance vein throb-

Got off the bus at Raben, and went up to CO.
It was very quiet, only Jaye, Kim, Josie and her kids class kid.
Picked up 30, and some flyers.
Asked heaps to Jaye cos we normally don't get to talk nowadays, cos we're both busy =(
Kim looked really pretty =)
And Josie as usual was kyoot >w<
Anwyayz, apparently LOAM might not go ahead for Upstaged.
Hmm...
And WD practice resuming next week YAYYY~ <3

Note to self: need to catch 6:40 train from TH on Wed to get to Riverside Theatre on time!

Ate at Mappen, where I burnt myself getting the Udon bowl.
GG.
Wanna try the soft-boiled egg next time.
Looks good *O*
Ate on the same table as a couple, and when I looked up I thought it was Pearl.
So I said "Pearl?!"
And she looked at me for a bit too long and in this wtf way, so I apologized and kept eating.
SOOO AWKKIEEESS ><"

Anywayz, finished up and went home.
Fell asleep on the train...again (in the morning too)
Walked home in the rain.

Yesterday:
Went and watched Joey's (4th's) game in the morning...was a tiny bit late TT
Game was epic up until overtime cos they tied.
Then they lost =(
BUT STILL! was an awesome game.
Matt, the coach, not being there still doesn't sit right with me.
And he apologised kinda nonchalantly at the end...==
but meh.
Annie, Benson's gf, is so kyoot :3
She's so like NGAWWW with Benson.

Took the train to Chats with Joey.
Felt a bit down, cos his group is going with SG's to schoolies.
For a week.
Like I'm really happy for him cos he'll have so much fun,
but, I can't help feeling so...envious and left out.
Cos our group is so...male-phobic.
The chances of having a joint end of year thing with guys is like...
15%.
At best.
Yea you wouldn't mind, but honestly I don't even have the chance of having that any other day.
I'm sorry that our schools aren't NOT separated by even a fence.
A few blocks away...
I'm not spiteful or even jealous.
I just can't help but be upset.
Don't worry, I'll get over it.
Hopefully I'm not that obsessive.
I cried when he decided not to go and would not change his mind.
I'm not like this.
I don't want to be.

Chicken kebab split, and wicked wings for lunch.
Went down to Easyway and bought one for us to share at Matrix and also looked through 'Miss...'
Shitty overpriced stuff ==
So much for discount.

Lucy wasn't teaching the class, so I didn't drop in.
Waited for him to finish.
It wasn't so cold anymore =(

Jap tute in the arvo.
I like reading aloud =)
It makes me feel good.
No I don't like the sound of my own voice.
It's just nice to sound out words yourself.
Yuki sensei <3

Speaking workshop made me feel shit.
I mean I accept that Emong's good, really good, but it just feels like she's rubbing it in my face.
Like when I finished my monologue "You lost me halfway there."
And correcting me and stuffs.
I mean, Emi-sensei is there you know.
I don't need you to be the mid-translator.
I'm evidently being melodramatic and spiteful,
but really I just wanted to shrink away.
Die in a hole.
I mean, you don't do that to Andy!
Who you obviously like smiling and batting your eyelashes at.
-sigh-
Whatever.
(Oh and wtf is with the Jap Fb name, 6 languages, etc...)
Yes I'm a bitch.

Felt just...bad on the train home.
Cos of the Workshop and also Mum was out at a wedding, so it'd only be me and Kev at home, hence it would've been nice for him to come over but he couldn't.
Kudos to Joey for trying (and later succeeding) to cheer me up.
I'm sorry -chu-
Had some messed up fun at Pymble station xD
<3


Mum looked really pretty.
She's so young it's not fair.
And she's so skinny T_T
Size 6 pants!
She could easily pass off for 30 years old.

Oh and watched Dark Knight for the first time while eating Lasagna with Kev.
LIKE OMFG!
SO AWESOME *O*
Joker <3
And Harvey Dent TT so scary...
Preferred Katie Holmes as Rachel though.
Maggie makes her too...old-seeming =\
But yeah was fun watching with Kev =)
<3

Nm after that.

Not much on Friday morning that I remember too well

Morning class for Jap; finished SA
Iwasa sensei came in for Jap cont, but spent her entire time with the accelerated chick, Vivian, from year9.
In case its not evident enough, I don't like her.
In fact I'm not a big fan of any of the accelerated people.
Yeah, this is my spite shining through. So uglay~

Modern, contacted 6 books in an hour while watching a movie :3
I pride myself on mum's contacting skillz/method that she passed on to me <3
Oh and we got easter eggs/snakes for every book we did xD
Recess...don't remember much.

English third period.
Whatever happened, it was neither worth mentioning nor useful.
I think I took photos of the example paragraphs on the smart board screen.
That's about it.
My productivity for the whole lesson ends there haha...

Lunch, acapella~
Sandman and Hallelujah.
Recorded hallelujah cos its so pretty, but my app fked up.
FKing hell...

Went with Sabbers down to Pad Thai.
Got an anonymous call with the guy trying to get me to guess who it was.
LOL didnt wanna say just in case it was wrong (EMBARRASSING MUCH ><)
But it turned out my suspicions were right ("We met at a table...talking about Asian customs..." LOL "You ate so much food you got sick")
YAYY Dan -hug-
WOW he got a gf (for half a yr...I evidently am a misinformed fb stalker).
Good work bro >D
AND YAYYY he's coming to Sydney at the end of the year.
Can't wait to see him^^

Spent the rest of the period hanging with Jess, Sabbers, Rina and Ting in the common room.
Fun.
I think this will probs become the 'Free' group xD

Maths.
WHEEE~
Everyone was just dead.
And didn't wanna do work.
Including Ms Lee D; -patpat-
So we camwhored with Sabbers' Mac and played Mr Scribble on the white board xD

After school watched W;T alone in B12 (nobody else came, and I didnt ask anyone else.)
Dark room, closeup shots while I stare at her giant face on the screen talking to me.
So...intimate, and...confronting.
LOL cleaner came in to vacuum the room; what a moodkill xD
But yes, started crying violently when Susie was talking to her and she started crying.
Also when Ashford was reading the Runaway Bunny =(
But yes, it was a beautiful movie~
Can't wait to see it on stage!!

Was gna be taking 5:30 kpop with Leslie only but turned out everyone just chimed back in anywayz.
Cheh ==
Nah I keed.
But still...
What a waste of argument/persuasion on the night before...

Class was ok...
I kinda knew the part already (Replay, last part), so Jaye made me teach with him.
Carumen-chan looked sad at the back of the room =(
So I pulled her up front!
The two guys ('Hot' and Tall 'Leslie') were so distracting xD
But yes...considering doing the Shinee showcase...
Maybe...
Cos I know most of the chorey already, so I won't need to come in for as much.
Anywayz, had a MASSIVE kpop jam at the end of the lesson.
SO FUNNNN! >w<
Oh and Reese seemed sad =(
Combined with his flat hair he lookd so NGAAWW D;
here have a hug! -hug-
Although apparently it was cos he's tired...although not tired enugh to poke fun at er...yeah ==

Wedding Dress <3 Can't wait to perform!

Had to eat before I went home,
So had dinner with Leslie (the others had to go home)
Looked for half an hour for a place to go...including down a hill and back up D;
But yes finally we went to Pepper Rice xD
Was cool =)
We talked heaps^^
Man to man Friend to friend talk LOL
Found out heaps about him sorta...
I'm sorry. =(
Must've been hard.
-hug- for the you (NOT the high one) that still suffers

Then went home.

Extra nao has mints in a tin box!! RELEVATION~! REVELATION!
So right now I have migrated out to the living room to do my English Essay,
1. Cos there's less distraction here
2. More space
3. I like the couch =D

Soooo while chilling on m soft bouncy sofa and eating Extra Forest Berry mints/Fererro Rocher/sipping Lime Solo, I shall try to recap from two days ago.

I'll start from Friday then hopefully quickly work my way back to today.

Extremes up and down day.
Like extreme left/right-wing
Which apparently arch into a horse-shoe model and turn out being very similar.
LOL
==
Shut the fuck up modern-history fuckup.

So morning class.
Desperately revising with Claudz and Wheeza while being early for maths morning class.
Lucky people who didn't have to do it Second period.
Chimed out of maths mostly.
Volume of Integration.

Freaked the fuck out of me when the bell went.
Overall the essay was kinda...should've been easy.
The question was broad: good because 'easy' to answer, but hard to decide where to begin.
I just rambled about policies.
Fucking great.
Didn't even answer the question properly.
Government Intervention to fix the problems of the Great Depression caused by American Capitalism.
Fuck.me.dead.

I can't afford to screw up modern.
Everyone who does it is like...genius at it.
You're bad enough as it is idiot.
Great.
Just go fuck up another assessment task.
How much more u gna ruin yourself aye?
-headdesk-

Recess spent being sad.
Asked Carmen and Renee to hang out after school.
<3
Destress~
Depressing phone call.
Couldn't pay for everything I'd tried to pay for yesterday cos the admin system was down.
Fuck.
(If you havn't figure out already, I swear a lot in my thoughts =) )

Third period Jap.
Laughing about Mizoshiri and her husband dressing up as King Kong/Ninjas/Hello Kitty to our formal.
Funfunfun.
So high.
We got mochi with anko inside from Flint sensei <3
shiroi~shi kawaii~shi
Overall bludge lesson.

Lunchtime ext lesson complete bludge.
Did nothing.
Didn't end up having to present on my feminist historian.
So not bothered to take notes.
Wanted to copy Alice's but her writing was very illegible D;
I think Mr mAdgers is getting sick of us =(

Free spent with Weelay and Bree in teh canoodle corner cos everywhere was taken up in the library...AGAIN!
WTF is wrong with the school's priorities FUCK?!
ANywayz lots of fun.
Volcano laugh LOL
There was a group of juniors on the other side of the shelf, and one was crying violently.
We felt bad for her,
so we creepily sent a message over the shelf in the form of a paper aeroplane.
=)
They even replied NGAWWWW <3 Hope she feels better soon.
We're so creepy tho ><;;

Finished my extended response on To Autumn (Keats) finally.
Wandered down to Eighty Ate and halfway to Thai Emerald.
But then decided I'd wait and get cheaper Menya LOL.
So I walked back up after a meaningless trip.
And saw Glynny chatting to Donald on a silver seat.
THot it was odd since he was meant to have Weelay's Chem class right now.
So called them and turned out they were in the comp room, unsupervised.
So i went and chimed.
And we looked at pretty holiday houses for schoolies 8)

Took bus with Weelay and Carmen.
Judy being a scary prefect but jsutified lol.
Weelay sat right down next to Cindy LOL.
Btched about juniors being sluts.

Went and explored Myer, Kookai and stuffs.
Then went to have Menya, LARGE KAKE WITH TEMPURA <3
SO FULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
AND FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT
TT
LOL so funny tho.
S fun chatting with those two <3
Love you guys =)

Went to sit down at the World Square open area.
And we talked for about 2 hours non stop, just about EVERYTHING.
Some of the best laughs I've had in a very long time.
Absolutely love you guys.
You're so good to me <3
Thank you for being there for me and hopefully I'm there when u need me to be.
To Renee <3 hope this all works out for you!
Awkwardly ran into Frances, and she asked where Cher was.
We all perked up and pointed into Typo in sync.
LOL creepy stalkers much xD
Windy.

Went to CO for warmth.
Talked more.
Weelay left.
Then got ready to take class.
Angel hugged me yayyy! <3

Carmen stated to watch the routine <3
Thankyou~ Sorry if you were bored =(
The routine probably looked better this week but I liked last week's class probs cos there were less people.
I kept letting people go to the front and was always at the back -sigh-
Last week's was also more sexy ><
According to Carmen, Angel generates a 5 year later projection of me...
Hmm food for thought.
I wish I could be as hot and sexy and cute as Angel tho =(
And talented!
She's so awesome~ >w<
I aspire to one day be able to be like her <3

Angels says I'm awesome~ [confidence up!]
But yeah,
Luke and Elena came to see us after class.
Reese is SO AWKWARD -punches-
He thought Luke was my/Carmen's/Elena's -ring on finger-
WTF?! O_O;;
LOL but he's so fun =)
AND HE'S SO KYOOT IN HIS HAIR DOWN >w<
I wanted to say that to him but it would go against by -glare- attitude and also that'd be creepy =)

Left and took train home,
Just made the Berowra.
Old man on the train talked to me and asked if I was famous.
And then he said he needed to get back to the Buckingham Palace.
Partially believed him.
I think he might be a bit =\ in the head, but maybe its true~
Either way, asked God to look after him, cos he got off at NS.

Rest of the way was bleh.

Got home.
Should sleep nao.

Tomoz, reminder to myself to upload letter and also aeroplane message to/from juniors =)

In the meanwhile, here have a nice video^^
I'm sure everyone's seen this already.
But when I need music/cheering up I just play this.
He's so talented =DDDD
The music is so peaceful :3

Yesterday was mostly spent moping and being rawr.
Got to school early-ish (considering I had the whole day off) (at 10:20am) to study modern.
Did a test with Sabrina.
[-]
LOL.
Gave $4 for Japan.

Recess, in B3.

Study/HSC stuffs meeting in meet period
Frances Mao and Rachel Harding.
Inspirational.
Ohmy FARRRRRmers...
NSG's ATAR results for last year.
Fuck.me.dead.
Good luck living up to that bitch.

Lunchtime was depressed and didn't talk much...
I don't quite remember what happened.
Free, spent with Tracy and Tran being annoyed at juniors taking over the 'senior-prioritised' library.
Worked with Tracey in a deserted corner instead <3
Funfun xD

Ext Hist.
So...chimeout.
Urgh.
zoned out of the lesson.

Met up and showed him the letter.
Bad idea.
Bad fucking idea dumbshit.
DUMB.SHIT!.

D&Med to mum.
The talk.
Wheee.
Disappointment.
But I'm glad she wasn't mad or anything.
<3

Wasted a lot of time instead of studying but don't regret it.
=)

You're right,
You've never done and never would do anything to hurt me.
Apart from making me reflect on my own crimes.

Girl, look in the mirror,
And ask yourself if you like who you're becoming.

Dear me of now and beyond,

Please keep writing.
It's nice to hear once in a while, especially when things change.
Keep strong <3

Love, you

I could do that...I could.

I could...

Stop fucking kidding yourself you idiot.

After reading Carmen's past few posts all about dance and stuffs, I feel inspired to write a more...fruitful and fulfilling post.
However, I lack the ability to make things sound good and inspirational...
-sigh-

Dance means so much to me yet, I can't even express it in words that well.
All I can do is...just dance.
And not particularly well either (comparatively...)
Like, even people who started quite evidently after me are so much more acknowledged and improving quicker you know?
I feel like such a failure aish...
I don't even go that much.
I mean I'm SORRY that I'm too busy with trying to SECURE MY FUTURE to go consistently.
I'm totally being kicked out of the department.
"As for Serena Van Der Woodsen, you're irrelevant." <-- inaccurate quoting cheh...I don't actually remember the line.
But yes I feel like Serena...
What's more...I've been dancing for so long and yet somehow I still manage to not be able to er...freestyle?
I mean my shot at breaking went down the drain as soon as the course was over (although of course I plan to pick it up properly when I have the time...aka after HSC TT)

I wish I could battle and be cool like those people who can hip hop out of nowhere.
FB invite for the next $2 battle...
-sigh-
oh don't even think about it.
Girl, you'd just be making a fool out of yourself.

Oh yeah I filled out my martricks goals survey today
So random...no idea what to put in it...
So I bs-ed some funny shiz in most of it...as earnestly as I could xD
To the Wall of Shame~

Also, I retook my ugly makeup-smudged photo from last year
Although this one has him bombing it LOL

Today was rainy.
Normally the rain is calming but today...it was a bitch.
I got shat on...inside the bus...by rain.
I got shat on between Matrix and Stratty Station
And I'm shatted for modern.

Short review of day
*note: probs won't update that much nowadays cos I ish busy...allegedly...with studying (Y)

Woke up nicely, too nicely cos I didn't wake up to do modern study.
Skipped Snr challenge meeting; too tired.
Before first period bummed with Rina bby, Lily, Linda and Maddy talking bout Modern.
First period English --> presented our presentations on character relationships.
My phone is almost out of battery.
Jap; a lot of writing and analysis.
WHEEE jap choco~ >;3 got green tea and tirol, although I would've liked cookies and cream...
Recess was spent going to Acapella meeting which I missed anyway
and studying To Autumn for Romanticism with Elaine in B10.
Feel sorry that Elaine cannot do Shinee showcase =( <3 next time bby.

Third period modern; started US foreign policy and society.
Interesting but freaking out more about New Deal.
Bellar kept making random comments and shiz, laughter, needed a good laugh =)
Essay planning, went alright.
Lunchtime English extra class (i'm really getting my food breaks aren't I?)
Talking about Donne and filling in the table with Taylor.
Harrs wasn't even there taking notes this time.
Ridiculous.

Ext Eng, talked about To Autumn.
Havn't done my La Belle insights or To Autumn extended response yet.
She seemed fussed but meh about it, as along as I hand it in ASAP.
That may...or may not be tonight.
-sigh-
On another note, Keats <3 So much more interesting than Coleridge.
Draining lesson but meh.

Met at NS, his hair was swept the other way LOL
Sorry to Bree for the awkward lightbulb-ing.
Awkward trainride with the SG's from central.
They asked him if he was going formal, he said probs.
-breathe and smile- =))) (LOL triple chin)

Got potato chips from krn store, no plum lollies.
Dipping sauce is meh ><
NOODELS~! i want nxt time omnomnomnom >D
Dodging friends of his at matrix cos I'm...awkard like that.
Rachel intimidates me.
I don't like her much.
But that's just me =)
It's Jess's bday today, but I didn't see her =(

Lesson was ok...
was a bit dead for first 15 minutes but then perked up after Giulia sympathetically pointed out I must be tired.
Interesting reading....me as Vivian and Oscar as Susie LOL
Aaron is kool^^ he's so chill.
He has a nice voice =DD
-not creepy-

Running down stairs.
Kinky rendezvous in the emergency stairs much? ;]
Although the stairs themselves were chat xD
8 floors wooh~!

Train ride home crowded but otherwise...pleasant ;P
But delayed D;

Fun lesson with Roger,
I kept answering questions before he finished xD
Smartass dumbass cheh...

NAO I SHALL WORK~~!

Dear world,
I used to write behind a wall and only say those of my thoughts which wouldnt upset anyone.
This is my new blog.
My old one...well it's abandoned.
I don't know how many people will actually care enough to read this.
Nor how many people will find it at all.
It'd be nice to hear from anyone who HAS by some chance stumbled across it.
It'll be interesting to see how many of my real ...'friends' actually find it.

This time, I'm writing for me. No one else.
No shadows to hide in.
I want to write what I feel, truly and honestly, nothing else.

Happy reading <3

P.S I gave up on trying to insert a pic.
If anyone can tell me how I could put some of the boxes on the left to the right of the page, greatly appreciated. Also, how do you insert pictures from your hard drive onto the html? thnks <3